Cultivating Equality: The Transformative Power of Social Graces
Woman Palmerite practicing posture and poise, 1947. Courtesy of Griffith Davis, NCDAH
Is it misguided, even a tad bit fantastical to view social graces as a conduit to equality and social justice? While there was a time when societal acceptance hinged on propriety, and impeccable manners granted access to elite circles, our contemporary world, shaped by technology and evolving cultural norms, has shifted towards viral approval rather than the authenticity embedded in age-old traditions. Has our pursuit of a lifestyle distinct from our ancestors led to the erosion of social graces, pushing it to the brink of extinction?
Nestled in the serene town of Sedalia, North Carolina, lies a remarkable treasure—an expanse adorned with early 20th-century colonial-style architecture and wooden cottages. This locale once served as the cradle of the world's first and arguably finest African American finishing school for young men and women, known as the Palmer Memorial Institute. Conceived in 1902 by the visionary educator, Dr. Charlotte Hawkins Brown, this institution incorporated social graces into its curriculum alongside subjects like math and literature.
These graces permeated the campus; at the dining table, men stood until women were seated, fostering a sense of communal grace intertwined with mandatory etiquette. Returning from summer break was a formal affair, with women adorned in white dresses and men in dark suits, greeting a line of educators. In 1941, Dr. Brown authored a book on manners titled "The Correct Thing to Do, to Say, to Wear," disseminating her foundational curriculum of cultural training, hygiene, manners, and refinement. She firmly believed that with proper cultural training, African Americans would gain the respect they deserved.
In a 1943 broadcasted speech on CBS radio, Dr. Brown eloquently conveyed her belief that social graces could be a catalyst for equality:
“Let us take time, therefore, to be gracious, to be thoughtful, to be kind, using the social graces as one means of turning the wheels of progress with greater velocity on the upward road to equal opportunity and justice for all.”
This perspective garnered Dr. Brown recognition as an authority on race in America. Examining her words in today's context, the discourse on equality often neglects the role of social graces. Defined as the skill of dealing with people and society through proper behavior and etiquette, social graces are surprisingly absent from the equality narrative, making Dr. Brown's approach intriguing.
Coming from a background where politeness reigns supreme, I recall my grandmother's stern reactions if I neglected to address adults with "ma'am" or "sir." Social graces not only cultivated a reputation for being well-mannered but also opened doors to circles where social etiquettes were emphasized. However, I never correlated this propriety with advancing the cause of social justice. So, what is it about social graces that propels such progress, as Dr. Brown suggested?
Understanding the value Dr. Brown and her contemporaries placed on social graces in the early 1900s may involve considering the concept of the value gap, as articulated by academic Eddie Glaude, Jr.—the societal inclination to favor white people over black. Dr. Brown, cognizant of this perception even in her time, prioritized not just appropriate behaviors less threatening to counterparts but also a call for cultural curiosity embracing the rich value of African Americans. When we integrate the value of social graces into our community, we bridge divides and generate momentum towards societal uplift.
The former campus of Palmer Memorial Institute, now the Charlotte Hawkins Brown Museum, exudes a quiet ambiance, with historic buildings bearing red markings by the fire department, hinting at a disposition to let them burn in case of a fire. A parallel can be drawn with social graces—it's not an antiquated structure devoid of purpose, but an intentional behavior that enriches us from within, a heritage worth preserving.
What do you think about social graces being a pathway to social justice?
